“Amanda, when are you coming back?” I knew she was talking about business, and I knew that it was pure-hearted concern motivating her question.
“I don’t know.” I shook my head in frustration and looked down to hide my tears.
“Amanda, what if you just…” I listened, desperate for something that would make it possible for me to move forward, but it was the same old stuff. An old formula that didn’t feel good – a formula that, in truth, had cost me dear relationships, mentors, financial well-being, and even my physical health.
“But I don’t want to…” I tried to explain, but it was futile.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said those words
– “But I don’t want to” –
I’d be rich.
I’ve been ‘a little rebel’ since birth, I think.
In fact, my dad loves to tell the story of pulling my screaming 2-year-old self out of our car, setting me on the side of the road, and then watching in amazement as his precious girl shook her finger right back at him. (Apparently, I didn’t agree with him and was letting him know it.)
And…even though I spent most of my child and young adulthood in hiding (a story for another time), my rebel never left.
She just kept getting more and more angry at all of the rules/ formulas dealt out for her to have friends, to please God, to feel loved… and, eventually, to succeed in business.
By the end of 2013, the anger was bubbling over because the magic was gone (I thought) and everything was falling apart, and I didn’t know what to do differently to make it better. Nothing was working.
I was watching a lot of people as potential models (on Facebook, on their lists, etc.) and picking everything apart. I didn’t like the way they did this, and that, and that, and that…it didn’t feel good to me, and “I would never do that kind of stuff just to grow a business.”
When I shared my findings with a dear friend, her response knocked the wind out of me, “I think your shift will come after you stop talking about THEM.”
What the hell does that mean? I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to do business like them. I refuse to disempower people in my marketing and sales process. What’s wrong with me saying, “I don’t want to…” when it comes to practices I don’t agree with?
It wasn’t until months later that I experienced the shift she was talking about…
I was listening to Jonathan Fields talk about “Starting Revolutions in Business.” I’d heard all of the business planning stuff before, but the language of “Revolution” – dictators, ideology, change, etc. – really spoke to me. And when he talked about “The Competition” as “Dictators,” I gasped.
OMG, it’s the argument we used to have in the university honors program, “How can we overthrow a dictator without becoming one?” That’s where I’ve been stuck. I’ve been a Rebel, not a Revolutionary.
Rebels fight AGAINST something.
Revolutionaries fight FOR something.
Rebels operate from ANGER.
Revolutionaries operate from LOVE.
Rebels create a lot of CHAOS.
Revolutionaries create CHANGE.
It’s time for me to stop focusing on what I’m rebelling against and focus on My Revolution – the Revolution I’m meant to be part of in the world, in my industry, in my family…
It’s time for me to stop focusing on Truth (because theirs doesn’t feel good to me and that’s not going to change) and to start operating from Love (because that is what saves us all anyway).
So, that’s what’ve been up to this year – clarifying my revolution (more to come on that soon) and focusing on rewriting my stories from Lies to Love (a journey I’ll be sharing more of in 2015)…
But you know what, I love my little Rebel. I’m grateful for her. She’s been holding the space for my personal freedom since I was that little girl on the side of the road. She’s been the one to guide me away from the people and situations and formulas that were not good for me. She’s been the one who gave me the strength to leave toxic matrices and take on crazy dreams (“I’ll show them!”), and really, I don’t think I would have found my Revolutionary without her.
So, the Rebel in Me Honors the Rebel in You…because that Rebel is guiding you away from what you don’t really want…and what’s really not in your highest good…
And, the Revolutionary in Me Says:
“What do you LOVE enough to fight FOR?”
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
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What has your Rebel been guiding you away from?
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And what does your Revolutionary love enough to fight FOR?