Lori Bonnevier

Drop the Battle. Win the War that Matters.

Vanessa and Luke met in college. Young and ambitious, they fell in love, married, bought a house in the suburbs, and created a perfect family. He worked tirelessly to advance his career, so she could stay home with the children and manage their busy household. For fifteen years, they built a network of friends, family traditions, and an amazing life together. Everything was going great until it wasn’t. Now, they are facing a very painful divorce and a custody battle over two children both parents adore.


Family members, friends, and legal professionals— everyone has an opinion about how to come out on top.

In You Don’t Have to Crush Your Ex, Lori Bonnevier—a clinical social worker and seasoned child custody evaluator—invites you to walk beside Vanessa and Luke, as they face challenges similar to yours. You will have the unique opportunity to make choices about divorce, your children, and how to participate in a custody evaluation to achieve the best outcome. Through this insightful and witty choose-your-own-outcome-style story, Lori shares her more than twenty years of trade secrets to help you navigate the complex and often-thorny experience of participating in family law litigation.

By the end of the book, you will know how to:

  • Protect your child’s emotional health and well-being.
  • Acquire resources to manage specific challenges.
  • Discern which attorney will hurt or help your efforts.
  • Impress the heck out of your evaluator.
  • Save your family time and money.
  • Keep your sanity and thrive on the other side.

This book is a must-read for parents, grandparents, and interested third parties involved in or headed towards a custody lawsuit over the children they love.

The Choices We Make, Make Us.

“Amanda and I met when I was looking to author a book. That was all. Just a book. I had no concrete idea what this book would be about or the purpose it might eventually serve, but I was determined to write a book. My sights were set on this dream in childhood, and it was time. Boy, was it time—time for a massive tearing down and reconstruction of my personal and professional life through the words and stories that would flow out of me. I had no idea, nor even ventured to consider, that this book I had always wanted to write would right my world, in ways that no other form of education or therapy or medication or inspirational seminar or guru could. Narrative therapy on steroids, anyone?

Three years of working with Amanda flew by. There were in-person retreats at wondrous locations, in-town retreats at cozy coffee shops, and online retreats in my jammies at home. In the process, I was gifted with a community of like-minded messengers, which served as a lifeline through the process, and continues strong now with the lifelong friendships that were formed.

Once the book was written and edited, it was time to launch and I needed a trustworthy, skilled, and seasoned team to see my hard work through. I never dreamed I would actually author a #1 bestseller. But alas! Here I am, and so I did, thanks to my own perseverance and the solid dedication of the A-Team (aka Amanda, Alyssa, and Aaron) who picked me up when I tripped and carried me over the finish line to celebrate our victory.

By the time we got there, I had a newly branded website, more diverse services established in my clinical practice, a bigger and clearer message, increased opportunity for revenue and impact, and a new business plan that lit a fire in my belly.

The A-Team helped me accomplish what would not have been possible on my own. Each member with their own distinctive and valuable talents that blend together to create an effective and efficient well-oiled machine to get the job done. This team works in a way that is unique to each business and individual’s ideas and plan. They are relatable, accessible, and worth every cent.”

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