I closed the door behind them. Okay, just an hour before my next appointment.
I turned my computer back on and felt my anxiety increase as the millions of screens opened and stared back at me – my inbox ready to burst, two projects needing my attention, and three different lists of people to follow up with phone calls.
None of this feels good right now. What is going on?!?
Overwhelmed with the confusion, I slammed my computer shut. Working in this energy is useless. Maybe I am hungry. I asked my next appointment to meet me at the restaurant down the street and got on the road.
It was a good meeting, but I could feel the frustration and discontent simmering within. And again, I felt like the person sitting across from me was pushing button after button, trying to get a reaction from me. Hmmm…
After the meeting, I went back to the office and called a friend to process my feelings. “Nothing feels good today. The blog I sent you – not happy with it. I’m missing something, but don’t know what it is. My kid drove me crazy today. I couldn’t make decisions about where I wanted to put everything in the new office. I could hardly focus to work on any of my projects. And I definitely don’t want to make any of those calls. What is going on?!”
As soon as I said it out loud, I knew what was going on…
Of course! There’s something new on the horizon, ready to come up. My son was just reflecting back to me the restlessness and discontent I’m feeling with things as they are in this moment. That’s why he took a minute to look me in the eyes. Somehow he knew and was trying to tell me to pay attention.
He just ended his school year, and I feel like I’m completing a season in my business. The way I did things last year is not the way I’m feeling called to do them this year. And yet the plan hasn’t been given to me yet. All I know is that right now, I am not feeling content with any of it.
When she broke into my thoughts, she confirmed them, “Amanda, the message you shared in that blog today was so deep, I could hardly get through it without crying. I think you’re getting ready to step into a new level. Upside down, as you say?”
“Yes! I think you’re right. I was just thinking about how my little guy so perfectly mirrored that back to me today. End of one season and not yet in the next one – a good time to go inward and listen.”