Torey Ivanic

No Big Deal

For fifteen years, these words kept Torey Ivanic from telling her parents, friends, and boyfriends about her interactions with the gymnastics coach who utterly confused her young mind, body, and soul—who had, she eventually came to understand, sexually violated her.

In this memoir, Torey transparently and brilliantly shows how the abuse started, the collateral damage it created in her young life, her realization that it was a big deal, and her journey of healing and justice. After putting her perpetrator in prison for 43 years, she created a new life full of real love and joy and became an advocate for sexual abuse prevention.

Most importantly, Torey has lit the path for other victims and their loved ones to:

  • Understand Exactly How Grooming Happens
  • Realize It Was and Is a Big Deal, and Not Their Fault
  • Identify and Address Collateral Physical and Emotional Fallout
  • Find Open Spaces for Healing
  • Become an Advocate for Justice and Prevention

Whether you have been telling yourself that it was no big deal, or you know it was a big deal and need to know it’s possible to move forward—and especially if you have young children and don’t know how to protect them—this is the book for you.

It IS a big deal.
And there IS something we can do about it.


“When I met Amanda, I had just experienced a major trigger to my story, and the book was just a ‘What if?’ Talking to Amanda made me realize I really could write a book and that she had all the knowledge and tools to help me. BUT what I really needed was her heart, and the safe space she creates at these events. I came to the retreat with some content done, but it didn't read like the GOOD book that I wanted it to be. I was lost in the details. I couldn't see the overall brand that came from/with the book or hear my voice in the writing. Plus, I was feeling pressure to rebrand my business with something that would tie everything I’m doing together. It felt like I couldn’t move forward without that big picture and overarching theme, and Amanda nailed it.

I am so clear now, and motivated and inspired. I can SEE the GOOD book now, and I know with her help, I WILL write it and it will be powerful and well-written, and kick all kinds of ass. At the retreat, I wrote 5 chapters and the Introduction, and I know HOW to write the rest of it powerfully. Amanda hears your story, processes the most important parts (not to her, but to YOU and your reader), and then spits it back out at you in the form YOU need to see it to move forward. She sees the journey and the message on a level that you might not be able to because you are so IN IT.”

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