Stretched Into Capacity

It was exactly two years ago that a still, small voice inside of me whispered, “Yoga.”

I ignored it, of course. I don’t have time for yoga classes.

And then I heard it again. “Yoga.” Again, I ignored it. I can’t afford yoga classes.

This went on for months, and then one day, I noticed I felt really stiff. What am I going to do about this?

It was more like a shout this time: “YOGA!”

Okay, okay. But I can’t afford it. So what can I do? I perused the Fitness channel menu and found a 30-minute morning yoga fitness show.

I completely fell in love with the practice. My body felt better, and I loved the meditative aspect of it. It was the one time of day when I didn’t hear all of the chatter, “You forgot to… Your son needs… Don’t forget… That deadline… That program…” I am sure the chatter was still there, but I couldn’t hear it at all because ALL of my attention was on getting into a pose and not falling over. I loved the practice for two years, repeating many of the episodes of the sequences that I loved the most over and over again.

And then in November, I heard the voice again, “Yoga.”

Ummmm…I am doing yoga.

“More yoga.”

Almost the same day I heard the still, small voice’s whisper, I crossed paths with an instructor I’d met one year prior who invited me to one of her classes.

Okay. Okay. But I love my yoga practice. And I’d have to drive there. And it would cost money AND a few hours of work time every week. And her classes are during my best working hours. And…

I knew that all of my excuses didn’t matter. I was being guided, and I know it’s worse to resist. (Well, most of the time, I do…)

So, I went. And oh my goodness…

As I laid there on the floor, trying to breathe through the stretch and release all of the tension, I had the biggest AHA…

This is a perfect mirror of what is happening in my life and business right now.

I spent years playing life safe and small, repeating the same stories and experiences over and over again. It was comfortable, even though it wasn’t. I was broke and depressed, but at least I knew I could do the things that I was doing well enough. I was overweight and unhappy, but my husband still loved me. The pain warned me, but I didn’t listen…

And then the first “book” message came through. The excitement surrounding the possibilities made it impossible for me to think about continuing to play small. I knew that I was here for a purpose and that I had to follow the inspiration, and I somehow knew that I was going to attract a Secret Teacher. And I did. And it was magic. I healed, I helped others, and I found myself in a place where I could make good money empowering others to live their best life.

And then the calling came, “True to Intention.”

I don’t have time to figure out what that means. True to Intention? I can’t afford to put time into figuring it out.

The calling continued, and I kept ignoring it…until the market crashed and all of the contracts disappeared.

“True to Intention…”

It took me a complete breakdown to figure out what that calling was all about, but I said YES to it.

And so many moments of the journey have felt like that moment on the yoga mat. Ouch. What am I doing? I’ve been inspired to keep doing the things that are SO DARN SCARY and UNCOMFORTABLE. Why did I hire these people? I’ve followed the guidance and hired coaches that I didn’t know how I was going to afford.

I’ve had many of those proud, “Aha! I got it!” moments, all of which have been followed by a coach, a teacher, or a client walking by and expressing a need or an opportunity that has stretched me way beyond my limits – or what I thought my limits were.

This is it. This is what I feel like. I feel like I am being stretched beyond my capacity. How am I going to do all of this? How am I going to NOT disappoint the people looking to me for a model? How am I going help them through this phase? How am I going to fill the retreat? How am I going to…?

“Relax. Breathe into the tension. Feel it release.” I knew she was talking to the whole class, but she was really talking to me.

And she didn’t know it, but she was reminding me to heed my own message: “Lean into the discomfort. Relax into your upside down like the caterpillar does. Trust that the transformation will happen—because it’s meant to.”

 

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