Following My Heart, by Jackie VanCampen

Jacqueline VanCampen

Founder of Wise Heart Within

Author of Letters to My Daughter: A Mother’s Journey of Healing and Transformation

I used to love writing poetry in my teen years. Most of my poems were about the perils of the heart – the breakups, the dreams, and the desire for freedom – those things that are born in the teenager’s heart and that continue on with us as we grow older.

By the time I had reached adulthood, I was too “in my head” and disconnected from my heart to want to write anything. It seemed I’d had enough heartbreaks and enough dreams shattered. I had imprisoned myself in my own mind and cut off the creative juices that used to flow so easily through me and onto paper.

I picked up the pen again after my divorce at the suggestion of my marriage counselor. That writing too faded away, as many of the topics were just too dark and heavy. I longed to write about beauty, joy, passion, and love, but I couldn’t quite connect to my heart to allow those energies to come to the surface.

At last, in February of 2011, my desire to write was rekindled when a friend told me how she thought my writing flowed from my heart and how my words had inspired her. To me, it was evidence that my journey of healing was beginning to manifest the beauty and joy that I had only craved before. I knew why my writing had shifted. I had learned how to connect to my heart, and every time I opened the portals for my soul to express, I was in communion with the creative forces and allowed the message to flow through me.

I had no idea what I was going to write about, except that I wanted to write things that would inspire people to know their greatness and to connect to their divine inner wisdom – to the Wise Heart Within.

I started to journal and really enjoyed it. I made a point to write almost every night, so as to not lose the desire again. Then I purchased a netbook which would be small enough to carry everywhere and make it easy for me to journal digitally – you know, in case I ever wanted to turn my journals into a book someday? Little did I know that that someday was just a few months away…

At the end of April 2011, I attended Lisa Nichols’s Speak and Write to Make Millions seminar. That’s where I met Amanda. I felt an instant connection with her, starting with her passion for everything-butterfly! I too loved butterflies and had used the caterpillar/butterfly analogy so many times to describe the process of transformation.

I remember feeling this pull in my gut to get up and sign up for Amanda’s book coaching program. But something in me was resisting the calling. At first, the excuse was money: How in the world am I going to pay for this? I sat there paralyzed with both excitement and fear.

Finally finding my legs, I walked up to these “sisters” I had connected with during the event, and with a pale, dizzying look in my face, I said, “I really want to sign up for Amanda’s program, but there’s some fear that is totally stopping me.” I could feel the tears starting to well-up. The three of them looked at me and then one, as if reading my soul, asked, “Do you think you don’t deserve it?” Just like that, tears began to flow uncontrollably. It had been hidden from my view so far back, that I had failed to see the blind spot that was keeping me from taking one of the biggest leaps I had ever taken in my life – one that I knew I was meant to take. The “deserve” conversation is unnecessary. I am supposed to do this.

With a smile, a hug, and a huge “thank you” to my “sisters”, I headed to Amanda’s table, with my fear on my heels. I really didn’t have the money in my account to make that investment, but I knew that if it was indeed my purpose, the universe would provide me with whatever I needed to make that journey.

I signed up, got my information, and headed back to my seat, still feeling lightheaded and spacious at the same time. Suddenly, I could feel the machines in my head turning, and just like that, I knew where to find the money to pay for my investment – in myself and my purpose!

Now here I am, eight months since that turning-point day, and I’m about to publish a book – Letters to My Daughter: A Mother’s Journey of Healing and Transformation.

By the end of my retreat with Amanda in June, I knew that I wanted to write a book to help women reconnect with their divine self, their own voice, their Wise Heart Within. I outlined the structure for the book and started writing; but in August, I realized that my 14-year-old daughter was meant to be my first reader.  As she faced one of the biggest decisions of her life, all I could do was try to help her connect with her own heart and listen to what it was guiding her to do. The perfection in all of it was that she had been the reason for me starting along the path of transformation 14 years prior, and she had been my greatest teacher along the way. Of course, I’m supposed to share the message with her first!

And, of course, as I shared how I healed and transformed my own life and created the path for her to forge ahead, I was going deeper in my own healing in my relationships with people in my life, including my own mom and, most importantly, myself.

The journey that I have been through since that day in April 2011, when I signed up for Amanda’s program, has been quite an awakening adventure. So many things have happened in just eight months –  discovering my message, writing and re-writing my content, healing some old stories,  short-selling our home, starting a business, dealing with my daughter moving to another country, re-inventing my relationship with my husband, and learning to stand in my power – I’m a completely different person than I was less than a year ago.

And, in just two months, I will be on stage next to Amanda Johnson, Lisa Nichols, and three other extraordinary authors as we share our messages and our intention to facilitate transformation in the world by becoming the messengers we were always meant to be.

How amazing is that?!?

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