My heart, O God, hungers after Yours
I want to know You…I want to know You
Teach me Your ways, show me Your heart
I want to know You, I want to know You more
I want to know who You are
I want to know what You love
I want to know just where Your favor rests
And that’s right where I’ll be…till Your glory falls on me
I want to know You, I want to know You
I want to know You, I want to know You
I’ve been debating on whether to put this down on paper or not. I guess that’s pretty silly when you know my thoughts anyway.
I feel like You’re this big vending machine up in the sky with no price tag on the buttons; and I’m a hungry heart, gazing longingly through the glass window at delicious-looking packages of peace, joy, hope, love, grace, strength, comfort, healing, freedom, deliverance, and abundant life. Desperate, I just keep putting in my quarters and pushing buttons…fasting, praying, reading Your Word… periodically giving up things I love like chocolate, Dr. Pepper, sweet tea, romance novels…sacrificially giving of my time and money…then fasting more, praying more, giving more, spending more time in Your Word…hoping against hope that You’ll have mercy on me and let something drop down the hatch—something that will relieve this aching hunger in me. My good days are so few and far between…
Lord, I know that in Your Spirit is everything I can possibly need for this journey. Why can’t I access it? It’s either You or me…and I’m doing everything I can possibly do….
Have you ever felt like your prayers were just messages left on the answering machine of heaven…and the angel assigned to voicemail duty wasn’t doing their job?
For years, as a pastor, I left message after message, begging for the answer to my pain, pleading for something to satisfy and satiate the aching hunger deep within me. And then, one day, God shocked the socks off of me by picking up on the first ring…
Lord, what is the secret to Your vending machine?
Tami, the difference between your good days and your bad days is whether or not you hear the counsel of My Spirit. Daily I speak peace into your life, but you rarely ever hear Me.
Why don’t I hear You?
(smiling) You’re making too much noise…kickin’ and screamin’ and throwin’ a fit on the throne room floor.
(laughing) You mean…all the time I’ve been travailing for answers…You’ve been talking to me?
Tami, every time you’ve entered into My presence, I’ve scooted over on the throne, patted the empty space beside Me, and said, “Come, sit with Me. Let Me speak peace into your storm, truth into your tormented mind, and healing into your hurting soul. I have the answers, the ideas, the wisdom and the inspiration you need, right now, today—in this very moment. Shhhhhhhh, be still and know Me.”
Learning to “be still” and know God has transformed my life…the pain turned into joy and the hunger became my passion and purpose.
Do you know who you are? I mean…like…really, really know the you that you were created to be? Do you know why you’re here? Do you live on purpose? Does every decision you make take you closer to the fulfillment of your dream? Do you wake up every day vibrating with excitement and anticipation…wondering what miracles you are going to witness today?
To know God is to discover the incredible being He created you to be and the powerful purpose He intended you to fulfill in this world. He longs to reveal Himself to you…to write His UNBELIEAVLABLE thoughts and plans for you on the tablet of your heart…transforming you into His image…the image He created you to have.
The cry of God’s heart is the same today as it was ten years ago when I first heard it….
Shhhhhhhh….be still….and know Me….
When she started to sing, every person and creature at the Glen Ivy Center went silent and listened. By the end of the first verse, we were all crying, overcome with the pain of the hunger she touched within all of us.
By the end of this dialogue with God, I was weeping…and standing by the door…when I heard the still, small voice say, “Amanda, this is your real work. You thought it was about the books, but it’s really about the messengers. Many of them are just like Tami – powerful messengers with messages that are meant to transform the world – but they are stuck because they need to go back to the hunger to reach their readers and audiences, and they won’t do it on their own. But if you create the space, they will go back, they will own their message like never before, and they will change the world once they see what I will do with their YES. But, Beloved, it’s up to you. You are standing by the door.”
Of course I stayed in the room…for the same reason that Tami didn’t leave the retreat early, even though she was emotional and scared because she couldn’t see her message and audience clearly:
True messengers never get off the hook because we all know it’s more painful to ignore the promptings (to write the book, start the business, speak from stages, etc) than it is to just do whatever it takes to say YES and allow the message to do what it was meant to do.
Well, Tami’s breakthrough was the beginning of many, and it’s been AMAZING to see what is unfolding for her because she said YES…and then YES again…and then YES…and…well, you get the picture…
Tami wrote her book in a few months and set up her new business (Hungry Hearts for God).