"He knew when…"

“You know, Amanda,” she paused, as she took another moment to look at the ever-changing landscape. “He knew when to buy, when to sell, and…he knew when to die too.”

She said it so matter-of-factly that I burst into laughter, gripping the steering wheel to maintain control of the car.

“Why are you laughing? I’m serious.”

What she didn’t know in that moment was that my laughter was not just about her matter-of-fact-tone.

The Wind had just spoken through my no-nonsense gramma to confirm what my soul had been saying, “It’s time.”

And then The Wind and Gramma took it one step further and really drove the message home…

“You know, he didn’t make his money on the dairy business. He made it on buying and selling land at the perfect moments. We would find or build a home and set up our dairy next door, and life and business would be settled in and going great when he would come home one day and say, ‘It’s time to go. The writing is on the wall.’”

Yeah, I’ve experienced that many times. The writing was on the wall to start True to Intention, and then a few years later…to begin helping people through the self-publishing process, and then a few years later…to write my own book and make it a bestseller in a very short timeframe.

“And I would cry and cry and cry…I loved our home and our life, and we had to start over,” she continued.

Yeah, I always grieved what I was leaving behind too.

I glanced over at her, waiting for the punch line.

“He never doubted his gut, Amanda. Somehow he knew the patterns of the market, or something. And he was so good at it that it didn’t take long for all of his buddies to begin to follow his lead: ‘Oh, Joe’s selling and going to _____? We will too.’”

Ah, there it is. He ‘followed his gut and somehow knew the pattern.’ That’s where I’m at with one of the angels who dropped onto my path a few years ago. They’ve helped me so much, I can’t even find the words to express my gratitude. And the last time we worked together, I felt like it was a ‘last time.’ And I know that feeling now.

“But he would have HATED what’s become of this valley. Too many houses and people…all of his friends are gone…” Her voice trailed as her eyes continued to scan what’s become of their old stomping grounds. “He knew when to die, Amanda. He would have hated this. It was time, and he knew it.”

Yesssssssssss. I didn’t always heed the ‘time to move on’ signs, mostly because I didn’t know that’s what I was seeing and/or feeling.

My mind immediately revisited the many times I’d been divinely orchestrated into a relationship or situation that felt like it was exactly what I needed – and it was – only to have it, at some point, begin to feel uncomfortable, unsettling, and even wrong.

My soul was telling me, “It’s time to move on; you’ve gotten what you need, and it’s time to go,” but I didn’t know the sound of my soul’s voice.

And, quite frankly, I loved the people and situations I would be moving on from.

So I wouldn’t listen, and then terrible things would happen…
Little and big losses…in my relationships, health, and finances.
And then I would leave…with a proverbial machete and a torch.
Even though I had been so in love with them before, I would feel rage and hatred.
All because I didn’t know what the signs looked like.
I didn’t listen to or trust my own soul’s voice.

As I reached over and squeezed her hand, I quietly thanked The Wind for not only confirming that it was time to move on, but for all of those people and situations, all of the little and big losses and betrayals, all of the times I failed to see and listen…

Without them, I wouldn’t FINALLY know the sound of my own voice and trust that it knows what’s best for me. I wouldn’t have been able to recognize that my time working with this person is coming to a close and quickly, easily, and lovingly shift that relationship before it goes bad. I wouldn’t know that it’s possible to stay in LOVE and also do what’s best for me.

 

 

 

 

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