“Amanda, you did such a phenomenal job on this project. You’ve been a huge asset to this team, and we want to offer you a permanent position. You’ll be making $70,000 a year, have full benefits, and be working in a similar capacity as you have been in the temporary position.”
$70,000 a year? Benefits? I could have a paycheck every two weeks. I could finally give my son the education and extracurricular activities I have dreamed of giving him. I could start a savings account and…
“Amanda, we need to fill this position in the next two weeks, so we need an answer by tomorrow.”
The next twenty-four hours were agonizing. What am I going to do? This temporary gig was just supposed to fill the financial gap while I finished my certification to transform teen lives. If I take this job, it will be 50 hours a week with the commute. How will I continue the transformational work my soul craves? But this place just doesn’t feel right. They’ve already asked me to compromise my values a few times, and who’s to say they won’t continue to ask me to compromise for the sake of the organization? And it would probably be worse if they actually had me here permanently…
“Thank you for the generous offer. You have no idea how hard it is to say NO to that much money and safety and security. But this is NOT my purpose.” They looked at me like I was crazy when I gave my notice, but two weeks later, I walked out feeling like a noose had been removed from my neck.
That was the right decision. Transformation is my calling.
………………..
Wait a minute! What is happening? The contracts are all falling apart?!? Didn’t I just say NO to safety and security to follow my purpose? What the hell? God, are you serious right now? What am I supposed to do?
It was only two months later, and my dream – what I thought was my purpose – began unraveling in front of me.
“What about True to Intention?”
You’ve probably already read the story in Unbreakable Spirit or here in my non-newsletter (https://truetointention.com/archives/1040), but for those of you who don’t know, I completely wiped out the day all of this came crashing in on me. I had been hearing “True to Intention”, but I didn’t know what it all meant, and while I had given some time to figuring out what it might be, I hadn’t made a decision to move forward with it. It was just something I could do someday.
But as I laid there in bed, cocooned tightly in my blankets, overwhelmed with the venomous voices that told me I wasn’t worthy of my dream, that I had messed up all of the other dreams, and that I should just end it all, I was faced with some major decisions: Am I going to choose life, or not? Am I going to dare to dream again, or not? Am I going to figure out True to Intention, or am I going to find “safety and security” in a regular job?
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Obviously, I decided to move forward with True to Intention. As my sales coach Ursula Mentjes puts it, “I shut the door on all other possibilities” and gave myself fully to what I believed was my purpose. And that decision changed my life.
As much as I believe that there is a purpose and intention that is born in us – that is there for us to uncover – I also believe that we get to choose how we deliver that purpose/intention to the world. We can take the employee route or the entrepreneur route, we can decide to go it alone or ask for a Secret Teacher, we can stay in the healing process or run away from it, but it’s only when we make a “close-the-door decision” that we send a clear enough signal to The Wind to move on our behalf.
Otherwise, nothing manifests because we keep changing our minds or questioning our choices.
It can be scary as hell. Trust me, I know. I was the only income earner at the time I made this decision. Everything was riding on my decision – everything – so I get it. I know the fear that you’re facing. I know the chatter that keeps you up at night. I know the fear storm that occurs when you look at the checkbook and don’t see the evidence you want to see. But it’s at those moments that a decision will transform your life…simply because you have to draw the energy from your unbreakable spirit to make it…and trust that The Wind will meet you in the decision and carry you toward your dream.