“If you really knew me…” The words nearly got stuck in my throat. It was one week after I had manifested the Secret Teacher into my life, and I’d walked into her workshop that morning super excited to experience her work. Maybe I’ll even get a chance to tell her about the message I’ve been given to share with parents and ask her if she’d be willing to chat with me about it.
But just a few hours later, knee to knee with a perfect stranger, I found myself wondering what the hell I’d been thinking. “If you really knew me, you’d know that I wonder if my marriage can be saved, and I feel like it’s all my fault….you’d know that I wonder what’s wrong with me that every dream career I have seems to get taken away…you’d know that I wonder if my son will ever forgive me for the day I snapped and spanked him too hard in the parking lot…” The words kept coming, cutting my throat as they found their way out. I can’t believe he’s still sitting there. The kind blue eyes never once cringed with judgment, but they didn’t need to. The voice in my head was loud enough for the both of us:
How can I write a book about raising children with no limits
when I am obviously still so messed up?
How can I teach “no limits” when I am obviously still drowning in mine?
I spent the rest of the day crying, releasing years of pain that I’d kept to myself so as not to burden those who loved me. There were moments I wondered if I’d survive saying it all out loud, but as each word came out of my mouth, I felt the heaviness leaving my chest.
By the time I got to the stage to thank her, I couldn’t even imagine telling her about my books. It was clear to me that I had some serious work to do before I could ever stand in front of a room and teach “no limits” to parents (or anyone else) with integrity.
It was clear that the message I had been given was for ME FIRST,
and I was going to do whatever I needed to do to get it.
Have you ever set out to share a message (speak it, write it, or teach it through a business), only to be met with unimaginable challenges?
Have you ever noticed that the challenges that pop up are usually the same types of challenges you’re trying to help others overcome?
It never surprises me when the authors who are writing the books about money suddenly find themselves struggling to pay for coaching, or when those writing about standing in their truth and personal power suddenly find themselves surrounded by bullies telling them what they should and shouldn’t be doing. It doesn’t surprise me because I know from experience what is happening…
They are being called to own their message (and their dream) at a deeper level, and the challenges are opportunities for them to do that.
Nobody wants to take a stage or run a business without being SURE that their message (solution) will actually help other people, so it’s natural for them to question the value before they “make it permanent” by putting it in a book, sharing it in front of an audience, or building an entire business around it. So it’s a blessing when The Wind says, “Are you sure?” or “You’re out of alignment with this dream (message) in this area. Time to clean it up so you can be a model, not just a teacher.” It’s an opportunity for them to see and experience the value of the message they’ve been called to share. It’s an opportunity for them to see that the message is meant for them first.
The problem is that too many people misinterpret the challenges: “What was I thinking? How can I help other people when I can’t even help myself?” They take the challenges as signs that they are “barking up the wrong tree” or “dreaming TOO big” or that “everyone who told them they were crazy for dreaming might just be right,” and they end up walking away from the dream rather than seeing that they just need to work on their own stuff a little while longer (or use their own process and remember that it works!).
In fact, most of them FORGET entirely that they’ve already experienced/developed the process they need to quickly overcome the challenge. As soon as I ask the question “How is your message/solution NOT the answer to this challenge?”, they smile knowingly and say, “Oh yeah!”
I spent three years in that certification program with the Secret Teacher, learning how to give myself the unconditional love and safety I had worked so hard to give my son…and re-raising myself to live without limits. Do I live without limits today? No. I’ve still got plenty, but I’ve overcome enough of them that I know I have a message (process/solution) that works. I know it’s valid enough for me to share it with others. I know how to push past the limits because I know how to look for the lesson in them…and I would hate for the people who need to hear this message to have to wait until I’m living it perfectly. 🙂